Quotes and CollabNet Guide: Difference between pages
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This guide will walk you through setting up a Virtual Network for your VMs. This will allow you to route your VM traffic behind a VM (strongly recommended for several reasons), filter web traffic, and prevent access to your local network from the VMs. |
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This is a list of funny quotes from CollabVM users. Feel free to add to this page at any time! |
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= Prerequisites = |
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All mentions of the N word and the F slur have been censored for obvious reasons. Don't mind the excessive amount of the aforementioned words, it's a byproduct of how CollabVM culture was back in the day. |
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* An hour or two of your time |
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* A host running a Linux distribution |
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* Basic computer and command line literacy. Nobody is going to hold your hand |
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= Host Preparation = |
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== 2016 == |
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== IP Forwarding == |
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=== CHOCOLATEMAN plays Solitaire on CollabVM (2016) === |
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<pre> |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ DOUBLE CLICK THE 2 |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ D O U B L E C L I C K T H E 2 |
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Wulf715▸ AHHA |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ FUCKING FUCKING SOLITAIRE |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ FUCK |
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Keurig▸ welpers |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ put the jack |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ on the queen |
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Wulf715▸ sorry |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ its kay friend |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ not that one |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ the other one |
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Wulf715▸ ok |
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Wulf715▸ getting an iso on here |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ i used to play this game like a religion |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ so i know pretty much how to win it always |
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</pre> |
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First, we're going to enable IP forwarding on your host. This will allow traffic from the VMs to be routed to and from the router. The following command will write this to the sysctl configuration. |
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=== CHOCOLATEMAN plays Solitaire 2 (on ExperimentalVM) (2016) === |
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{{code|<nowiki> |
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<pre> |
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echo 'net.ipv4.ip_forward = 1' | sudo tee /etc/sysctl.d/router.conf |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ FUUUUUUCK |
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</nowiki>}} |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ THIS GAME IS LITERALLY FUCKING PROGRAMMED TO FUCK YOU |
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To apply, either reboot or run the following: |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ 9 OF DIAMONDS |
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{{code| |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ HISTORY |
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sudo sysctl --system |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ QUEEN OF HEARTS |
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}} |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ NEGATORY 3 OF HEARTS |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ NOPE |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ 6 OF DIAMONDS |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ YOU WISH |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ 10 OF SPADES |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ NEYET |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ JACK OF CLUBS |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ OVER |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ KING OF DIAMONDS |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ SCREWED THE QUEEN'S DAUGHTER |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ QUEEN OF SPADES |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ USELESS |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ there |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ I WIN |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸ WIN1!!11!!! |
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</pre> |
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== Bridge configuration == |
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=== Lace Querux vs. Splatoon Fanbase (Early-Mid? 2016) === |
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<pre> |
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Technoturnovers▸you know, i think sonic is fine but the community is straight up autistic |
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guest1337▸Same thing with Splatoon |
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guest1337▸It's like a great creative shooting game |
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guest1337▸but the fanbase is like |
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guest1337▸PORN |
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guest1337▸MORE PORN |
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guest1337▸PORN |
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guest1337▸YAY |
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guest1337▸PORN |
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</pre> |
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Next, we'll set up a network bridge with multiple TAP interfaces. You can think of a TAP interface as a virtual Ethernet port connected to your VM, and the network bridge as a virtual Ethernet switch connecting them all together. The instructions to do this vary based on your network daemon. For this guide we'll assume (and recommend) you're using systemd-networkd, or netifrc on OpenRC. |
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=== Trolling a guest (May 13th, 2016) === |
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<pre> |
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guest68876▸Dinkleburg |
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guest68876▸whoever that is can suck my dick |
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guest68876▸and stop eating Dingleberrys for a long while |
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guest68876▸CHOC |
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Chinigan▸meow |
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guest68876▸NO |
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guest68876▸BAD TECHNOTURNOVERS |
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guest68876▸CHANGE IT BACK |
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guest68876▸OR I WILL PUT YOU I MY LOCKER YOU <friend> |
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Technoturnovers▸whut |
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Technoturnovers▸how will you put me in a locker |
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guest68876▸COME WITH ME TO SPONGEBOB LAND |
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Technoturnovers▸what the fuck |
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guest68876▸AND I WILL SHOW YOU MY LOCKER |
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Technoturnovers▸are you high |
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guest68876▸FULL OF GYM SOCKS |
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Technoturnovers▸no thank you |
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guest68876▸YOU GOT NO CHOICE |
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guest68876▸ONLY IF YOU CHANGE IT BACK |
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Technoturnovers▸you would splatter apple turnover all over your socks |
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guest68876▸THEN YOU WILL |
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guest68876▸DONT MIND |
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Technoturnovers▸you can't even find me m8 |
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guest68876▸EASILY WASHES OFF |
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guest68876▸I JUST FOUND YOU |
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guest68876▸YOU ARE RIGHT HERE |
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Technoturnovers▸kekle no |
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Technoturnovers▸what are you on aout |
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Technoturnovers▸*about |
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guest68876▸THE WALLPAPER |
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guest68876▸PUT IT BACK TO THE ONE IT WAS |
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Technoturnovers▸no |
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guest68876▸YES |
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Technoturnovers▸do it yourself if you care so much :^) |
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guest68876▸PS VITAS FAULT |
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guest68876▸CAN NOT CTRL |
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Technoturnovers▸why are we talking about ctrl? |
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guest68876▸WE ARE NOT |
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Technoturnovers▸i don't like ctrl, he's annoying |
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guest68876▸I SAID I CAN NOT CTRL THE VM |
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Technoturnovers▸ctrl isnt online you tard |
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Chinigan▸>psvita |
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guest68876▸YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED |
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Chinigan▸kek |
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Technoturnovers▸>projecting |
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guest68876▸BY CTRL I MEAN CONTROL |
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Technoturnovers▸i wonder what ctrl would say if he was here |
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guest68876▸What did Father Tuna do? |
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Technoturnovers▸ctrl can't control the vm because he isnt online guest |
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guest68876▸Did he make any picture of Davy Jones'v |
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guest68876▸? |
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guest68876▸DID HE |
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Technoturnovers▸i like tuna |
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Technoturnovers▸tuna is tasty |
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Technoturnovers▸i'm actually eating it right now, want some? |
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guest68876▸FATHER TUNA |
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guest68876▸NOT ACTUAL TUNA |
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Technoturnovers▸i hope that tuna wasnt a father |
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Technoturnovers▸or else his kids will be orphans |
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guest68876▸HE SAID HE WAS MINE |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸?? |
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Technoturnovers▸what? no the tuna is mine |
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Technoturnovers▸get your own tuna |
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guest68876▸NO |
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guest68876▸YOU SAID I COULD HAVE SOME |
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Technoturnovers▸oh |
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guest68876▸YOU SNEAKY BLACK CAT |
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guest68876▸YOU <nigerian> |
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Technoturnovers▸sorry, sometimes i think i have the attention span of a tuna :^) |
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guest68876▸AND WHERE IS MY VIRTUAL COFFEE |
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Technoturnovers▸go ask keurig for some |
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guest68876▸CHOCO |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸what 1337 |
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guest68876▸Techno drives me cra cra |
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Dinkleberg left |
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Technoturnovers▸lol |
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guest68876▸and where is the orge's source |
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Technoturnovers▸there is not an orgy going on guest |
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guest68876▸Shrek's Source |
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Technoturnovers▸that's gay as fuck |
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Technoturnovers▸why would you want to go to a shrek orgy? |
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guest68876▸Shrek.exe's Source |
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Technoturnovers▸shrek.exe is not for orgies |
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Technoturnovers▸how would you have sex with a computer program |
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guest68876▸Shrek SuperSlam's Source |
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Technoturnovers▸Why are you talking about superslams |
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Technoturnovers▸this is not a sex position chat |
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Technoturnovers▸>SUUUUPEEERRRR SLAAAAAAMMMMM |
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guest68876▸WOO |
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guest68876▸WHO? |
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Technoturnovers▸>GIGGITY |
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guest68876▸GIGGITY |
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guest68876▸CHOCO |
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guest68876▸WHY DID YOU NOT ANSWER |
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Technoturnovers▸choco is not into buttsecks |
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guest68876▸THIS CERIAL IS ORGE |
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Technoturnovers▸how do you use cereal in an orgy? |
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guest68876▸orge in French means well, search it up lazy fuck |
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Technoturnovers▸the milk you get everywhere |
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Technoturnovers▸french orgy? |
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Technoturnovers▸you have some weird fetishes |
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guest68876▸But Orge in French means Barley |
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Technoturnovers▸Orgy? I barley even know 'er? |
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guest68876▸OSX 10.4 is what Chinigan uses |
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guest68876▸go upgrade <friend> |
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Technoturnovers▸OS SEX? |
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guest68876▸NO |
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guest68876▸NO |
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guest68876▸NO |
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guest68876▸NO |
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guest68876▸IT IS OS X |
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guest68876▸NOT OS XXX |
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Technoturnovers▸OS XXX sounds weird |
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guest68876▸HOW ABOUT MEGAMAN XXX |
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Technoturnovers▸that exists? |
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guest68876▸AKA MEGAMAN TRIPLE X |
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Technoturnovers▸why do you play games like that bro |
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guest68876▸I DO NOT |
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guest68876▸YOU DO |
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Technoturnovers▸nah, i prefer OS XXX ;) |
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Ctrl joined |
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Ctrl▸Why is the black panther African american |
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Ctrl left |
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Technoturnovers▸blacked panther? |
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Technoturnovers▸whoa |
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guest68876▸HEY TECHNO |
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Ctrl joined |
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Technoturnovers▸what? |
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guest68876▸I WAS JUST SEARCHING UP STEVEN UNIVERSE TO FIND WHAT YOU WATCHED |
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guest68876▸AND I FOUND OUT |
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guest68876▸https://vimeo.com/163162419 |
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SUCKA▸ |
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THE▸ |
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COCKA▸ |
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COCKA left. Ctrl joined |
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VOTE▸ |
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TRUMP▸ |
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TRUMP left. CtrLALtDeLEte joined |
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guest68876▸FUCK TRUMP |
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VOTE▸ |
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TRUMP▸ |
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Chinigan▸hi ctrl! |
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Technoturnovers▸you want to fuck trump? |
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Technoturnovers▸i doubt trump would like that |
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guest68876▸Well |
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guest68876▸THAT IS WHAT YOU WATCH |
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guest68876▸https://vimeo.com/163162419 |
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guest68876▸ITS RIGHT HERE FRIEND |
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Technoturnovers▸nah, i prefer blacked panther |
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CtrLALtDeLEte▸Jared fogle would like it |
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guest68876▸Mac OS XXX Black Panther |
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CtrLALtDeLEte▸Have anyone seen civil war |
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guest68876▸10.6 |
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guest68876▸.66 |
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Technoturnovers▸Mac OS XXX Blacked Panther? |
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Technoturnovers▸why do you use that man |
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Technoturnovers▸what happens when people look at your pc? |
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CtrLALtDeLEte left |
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guest68876▸You just said you prefer to use that instead |
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Technoturnovers▸im too busy using MEGAMAN TRIPLE X |
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guest68876▸"Technoturnovers> nah, i pefer blacked panther" |
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guest68876▸and you also said you would rather use Mac OS XXX then play MEGAMAN Triple X |
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Technoturnovers▸>projecting |
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Technoturnovers▸go take your orgy related delusions somewhere else |
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guest68876▸And you watch this instead of spongebob |
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Technoturnovers▸also, donald trump will never love you |
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guest68876▸you watch GemSteve RoundBelly |
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guest68876▸https://vimeo.com/157331299 |
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CtrLALtDeLEte joined |
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CtrLALtDeLEte▸But Jared fogle will |
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CtrLALtDeLEte▸I just he likes little 14 year olds |
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CtrLALtDeLEte▸Heard* |
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CtrLALtDeLEte▸Frug |
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guest68876▸What is with all of the shocked files |
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Technoturnovers▸guest why do you watch steven jewnisverse? |
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Technoturnovers▸it seems really religious |
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Technoturnovers▸do you also watch lewd jude? |
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Guest leaves the chat |
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</pre> |
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We'll also be giving the <code>collabvm</code> group access to the TAPs. If you have yet to create a user for CollabVM, do so now. |
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=== The reality of the RJLPranks Vista Upgrader (Mid? 2016) === |
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<pre> |
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Technoturnovers▸oh noes |
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Technoturnovers▸it didnt cancel!!! |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸lmao |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸it's hilarious how this fucking program predicted the windows 10 upgrader |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸nearly 10 years before |
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</pre> |
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=== Systemd === |
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=== Fucked out of a Solitaire game (July 2016) === |
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<pre> |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸so dont fuggle me plz |
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Technoturnovers▸k |
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Ruiner Of Solitaire▸Well fuggle my huggle! |
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Technoturnovers▸oh no |
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Technoturnovers▸no no |
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Technoturnovers▸fuck you |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸who did that |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸you homos |
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Technoturnovers▸Ruiner of Solitaire |
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Technoturnovers▸that son of a bitch |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸woww |
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CHOCOLATEMAN▸way to suck dick |
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</pre> |
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All network configuration is done in the <code>/etc/systemd/network</code> directory. We'll start by creating the bridge itself. The following simply creates a network bridge named <code>collabnet</code> |
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=== Technoturnovers writes a LoveEevee and FluffyVulpix copypasta (2016) === |
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<pre> |
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Technoturnovers▸https://paste.installgentoo.com/view/dbb71cae |
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Technoturnovers▸here is the copypasta |
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Technoturnovers▸where is 1337? |
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Technoturnovers▸hey 1337 have you read the copypasta |
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LoveEevee▸>I DONT ACTUALLY PLAY POKEMON, I JUST GET HORNY AT THE CHARACTERS |
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LoveEevee▸honestly that is 100% true |
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</pre> |
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'''/etc/systemd/network/collabnet.netdev''' |
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=== Ctrl accidentally admits he is a shithead (2016) === |
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{{code|<nowiki> |
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<pre> |
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[NetDev] |
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Technoturnovers▸stop being a shithead ctrl |
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Name=collabnet |
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Ctrl▸Or what |
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Kind=bridge |
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Ctrl▸You'll ignore me? |
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</nowiki>}} |
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The vote to reset the VM has lost. |
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Technoturnovers▸you realize you just admitted you are a shithead, right? |
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LoveEevee▸i know what's going on actually, had it on my own machine a long time ago |
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Ctrl▸Like I care lol |
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</pre> |
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Next, we'll create a TAP for our router VM. The following creates a new TAP named <code>ktrouter</code> |
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=== Wewlad Dislikes CollabCorp (2016) === |
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<pre> |
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patrick: dinkle and chocolate should be mods |
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wewlad: not dinkle |
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wewlad: that guy is a retard |
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Dinkleberg: >implying you are not one |
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patrick: don't get heated |
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wewlad: watch out dinkle is gunna hack your youtube account and change all the video titles |
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wewlad: really smart guy |
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Dinkleberg: Calling someone else a retard to try to trigger them |
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Dinkleberg: automatically makes yourself a retard |
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wewlad: yeah i dont think that's how that works |
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wewlad: maybe ask 8chan if they can crack this guys password too |
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Dinkleberg: yeah i think that's how that works |
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Dinkleberg: ze lag |
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patrick: nice turnbomb |
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Garry12gg: Have you seen my Robopanda? |
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wewlad: >turn bombing |
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wewlad: >being this mad |
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Dinkleberg: sorry wewmad |
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wewlad: that's right |
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wewlad: i forgot the l33t hacker cant use a proxy |
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wewlad: has to use the vm to test passwords |
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Dinkleberg: that's not even the issue dumbass |
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Dinkleberg: wew<friend> |
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wewlad: seems like it |
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wewlad: why would you waste your time trying to do it on here otherwise? |
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Dinkleberg: because |
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Dinkleberg: i fucking can |
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Dinkleberg: that's why |
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wewlad: ah |
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wewlad: so you are a retard |
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wewlad: cant figure out how to use a proxy |
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Dinkleberg: ah |
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wewlad: gotcha |
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Dinkleberg: i have tor |
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wewlad: >i have tor |
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wewlad: LOL |
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Dinkleberg: hurr durr |
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Dinkleberg: tor is botnet |
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wewlad: i really cant understand this level of autism |
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wewlad: you really are |
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wewlad: the hardest of core hacker |
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wewlad: you are the next lizard squad |
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Dinkleberg: You say that like its a good thing |
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patrick: shut the fuck up you two |
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wewlad: lol? |
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wewlad: you just want attention |
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Dinkleberg: no |
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Dinkleberg: i dont |
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wewlad: you do |
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Dinkleberg: you want attention |
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Dinkleberg: by insulting me |
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wewlad: otherwise you'd be as destructive as possible |
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Dinkleberg: and getting me to argue with you |
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wewlad: lmao |
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wewlad: I DONT WANT ATTENTION |
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Dinkleberg: yes you do |
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wewlad: BUT I MAKE SURE I POST COLLBA SQUAD EVERYWHERE |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: MINECRAFT |
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wewlad: MY NAME IS DINKLE |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
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Dinkleberg: Why else would you want to argue with people |
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wewlad: I PLAY ROBLOX, IM 16, AND I HAVE NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS |
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Dinkleberg: and call them retards? |
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wewlad: it's entertaining? |
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wewlad: not really attention seeking |
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Dinkleberg: Roblox? |
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Dinkleberg: Roblox is gay |
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wewlad: i feel like you don't understand basic english |
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Dinkleberg: o rly |
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Dinkleberg: if i don't understand basic english |
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Dinkleberg: then how am i talking to you then |
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dan: roblox |
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dan: cox |
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wewlad: being this literal |
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wewlad: what is autism |
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Dinkleberg: being this salty |
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Dinkleberg: what is trolling |
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wewlad: you're not trolling |
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wewlad: you actually want to be lizard squad |
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Dinkleberg: I never said i was trolling |
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wewlad: you are this autistic |
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wewlad: you beg people to crack hashes |
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wewlad: you go to 8chan for support |
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wewlad: like what is wrong with you |
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wewlad: you're a living meme |
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Dinkleberg: says the person who has a meme as their username |
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wewlad: >implying i said i wasn't |
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wewlad: >this level of autism |
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Garry12gg: More Go<friend>s to troll? |
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Dinkleberg: nope |
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Garry12gg: OK. |
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wewlad: we're waiting on 8chan to crack the hash |
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Dinkleberg: no we arent |
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Dinkleberg: /baphomet/ is a bunch of retarded skids |
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wewlad: >arent |
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wewlad: >implying you're not a skid |
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Dinkleberg: >implying you're not a <friend> |
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Dinkleberg: go suck some black dicks and shut the fuck up |
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Dinkleberg: you cuck |
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wewlad: >cuck |
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wewlad: i dont think you know what that word means |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: >cuck spelled backwards kcuc |
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Dinkleberg started a vote to reset the VM. |
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wewlad voted no. |
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Garry12gg voted no. |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: >KCUC: Kansas City Urology Care |
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Garry12gg: LOL |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: wewlad = urologist |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: from kansas |
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dan voted no. |
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FLUFFYVULPiX voted no. |
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patrick voted yes. |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: dan spelled backwards is nad |
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The vote to reset the VM has lost. |
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Garry12gg: https://www.instagram.com/p/BJWnaOVjgBN/?taken-by=garry12gg&hl=en |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: nad is slang for testicle |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: dan likes testicles |
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FLUFFYVULPiX: illuminazi conformed |
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</pre> |
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'''/etc/systemd/network/ktrouter.netdev''' |
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== 2017 == |
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{{code|<nowiki> |
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[NetDev] |
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Name=ktrouter |
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Kind=tap |
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[Tap] |
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=== "A Guest Being Silly" (June 2017 or earlier) === |
|||
Group=collabvm |
|||
<pre> |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Windows98_SE▸no |
|||
Windows98_SE▸stop |
|||
Windows98_SE▸too good |
|||
LoveEevee▸nice |
|||
guest63797▸im a girl |
|||
Windows98_SE▸that's probably why you love this bright-ass pink desktop |
|||
guest63797▸i didnt set it |
|||
Windows98_SE▸I did ik |
|||
Windows98_SE▸ooh |
|||
Windows98_SE▸look at that cool turquoise hyperlink |
|||
guest63797▸reminds me of the old days with win 98 |
|||
Windows98_SE▸:) |
|||
Windows98_SE▸I don't remember you |
|||
Windows98_SE▸oh |
|||
Windows98_SE▸you mean the os |
|||
Windows98_SE▸why |
|||
Windows98_SE▸why |
|||
Windows98_SE▸why |
|||
Windows98_SE▸WHY INTERNET CRAPSPLORER |
|||
guest63797▸yes messing with the colors |
|||
Windows98_SE▸THE ONLY PURPOSE OF IT IS SO FORKIES CAN SPAM IT |
|||
Windows98_SE▸because ie8 is such a bad browser |
|||
Windows98_SE▸but not as bad as ie6 |
|||
Windows98_SE▸what |
|||
Windows98_SE▸chrome themmes |
|||
guest63797▸might as well get a pink t |
|||
Windows98_SE▸nah |
|||
Windows98_SE▸it's fiiiiine |
|||
Windows98_SE▸we can just run phirefocks |
|||
Windows98_SE▸oh hell yeah |
|||
guest63797▸- c:/users/shithead haha |
|||
Windows98_SE▸I'm going to make this useraccount as bad looking and as cringy possible |
|||
Windows98_SE▸as possible* |
|||
Windows98_SE▸oh yeah I forgot |
|||
Windows98_SE▸I have to make the windows super large |
|||
Windows98_SE▸like Windows 10-- erm I mean Windows 9 |
|||
guest19329▸size 100 |
|||
Windows98_SE▸and we need the title bars white on white |
|||
Windows98_SE▸just like windows 9 |
|||
guest19329▸Windows 9? |
|||
Windows98_SE▸windows 10 |
|||
Windows98_SE▸but I am calling it windows 9 |
|||
guest19329▸ur right |
|||
guest19329▸should be win 9 |
|||
guest19329▸oh god cant see the title names |
|||
guest19329▸upload |
|||
guest19329▸it |
|||
guest19329▸oh crap my vm is windows 7 starter |
|||
Windows98_SE▸what |
|||
Windows98_SE▸>windows 7 starter |
|||
Windows98_SE▸why not ultimat |
|||
Windows98_SE▸e |
|||
Windows98_SE▸b.1339.cf/iqwmbkl.themepack |
|||
guest19329▸In my virtual Box for some reason i installed starter |
|||
Windows98_SE▸you should've got ultimate buddy |
|||
eneness▸is this the theme? |
|||
Windows98_SE▸yes |
|||
eneness▸will it work on win10 |
|||
guest19329▸I have ultimate cant remember why i installed such a shitty os |
|||
Windows98_SE▸umm |
|||
Windows98_SE▸no |
|||
eneness▸ok |
|||
guest19329▸ill just upgrade it |
|||
Windows98_SE▸because windows 10, no, 9 doesn't have classic |
|||
guest19329▸why is that in a dictionary? |
|||
Windows98_SE▸we need an eeveebuddy |
|||
guest19329▸no i mean asdassadsad |
|||
Windows98_SE▸that's who put it in urban dictionary |
|||
Windows98_SE▸peedy sucks |
|||
Windows98_SE▸no |
|||
Windows98_SE▸I wasn't fucking finished |
|||
Windows98_SE▸ther |
|||
guest19329▸funny |
|||
Windows98_SE▸e |
|||
Windows98_SE▸that's better |
|||
guest19329▸get rid of it |
|||
Windows98_SE▸what is "it" |
|||
Windows98_SE▸all it does is remove the iexplore.exe stub |
|||
guest19329▸delete it from the hard drive |
|||
Windows98_SE▸no |
|||
Windows98_SE▸microshaft doesn't let you |
|||
Windows98_SE▸Administrator is the fine account |
|||
Windows98_SE▸it's teh g0dz |
|||
guest19329▸God |
|||
guest19329▸wish it gave u that file for real |
|||
Windows98_SE▸what file |
|||
guest19329▸It's the secret administrator... |
|||
Windows98_SE▸nah |
|||
Windows98_SE▸someone put it theer |
|||
Windows98_SE▸there* |
|||
guest19329▸i know but imagine if it was by default |
|||
Windows98_SE▸it's as easy as typing net user Administrator /active:yes |
|||
Windows98_SE▸what the hell |
|||
guest63797▸u r a plumber |
|||
Windows98_SE▸no |
|||
Windows98_SE▸that's merio |
|||
Windows98_SE▸and lern hou 2 spel |
|||
</pre> |
|||
Now, you can create a TAP for each VM. The following adds a TAP named <code>ktvm1</code>. To add more, repeat the following, creating files named <code>ktvm2</code>, <code>ktvm3</code>, and so on. Make sure to also change the TAP name inside the file to match this. |
|||
=== "Let's Test CyberBuddy" (June 2017 or earlier) === |
|||
<pre> |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this is a good candidate |
|||
Windows98_SE▸that's a good looking instaler |
|||
Windows98_SE▸installer* |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸for the worse fucking design i've ever seen in my life |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸why are extra characters premium |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸thats stupid |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i can fucking download them from ponx for free |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸premium??? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you gotta PAY for this shit? |
|||
Garry12gg▸I've kown about Cybver Budy back in 2001. |
|||
Windows98_SE▸lmao, some butthurt wikia contributer vandalized the CHOCOLATEMAN page on the wiki by adding it to |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸2001?????? |
|||
Windows98_SE▸the "Forkies" category. |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸wait |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how uhh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how OLD is this program |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>2012 CHOCOLATEMAN▸oh my god this is RECENT |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸THIS PROGRAM |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸IS |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸RECENTLY |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸UPDATEDDDDDDDDD |
|||
LoveEevee▸>2012 |
|||
LoveEevee▸>recent |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸and it looks like this |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what uhh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oh nice |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸it closed |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸guess we're done with that |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸chat |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸lets see if anyones online |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸gay nobody is here |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸so wait garry |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you've used this before huh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oh my god why is bonzibuddy giving the tour for cyberbuddy |
|||
Garry12gg▸Yup. |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸is it anus |
|||
Garry12gg▸MIDI( musicd is npow playing. |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how do i make it chat CHOCOLATEMAN▸its fucking disabled |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸do i have to get approved by a moderator |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i went to take a shit and that website is what came out |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ok idk what i just did |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸but i did it |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸so |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸UIN |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oh ok so this is basically ICQ? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸like a really shitty version of it? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this is basically microsoft chat + ICQ |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸why is he pointing to the hide button |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸am i supposed to click it |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸wait |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸we're in |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸we are in the chat |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how do we get people |
|||
LoveEevee▸>Prounced |
|||
LoveEevee▸>Prounced |
|||
LoveEevee▸>Prounced |
|||
LoveEevee▸murrican education |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how in fuck hell do i use this god damn programmmmm |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how do i get cyber the bot |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i want to have cyber sex |
|||
LoveEevee▸protip: you fucking dont |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸wow its a lie |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸mmm go mmm fuck mmm yourself mmm |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>not found |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ok so what |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸is it gone |
|||
Windows98_SE▸this intro is fucking long |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸my god this bird does not shut up |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸okay |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this fucking |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸program minimizing randomly |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸is getting real annoying |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what uhh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what uhh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what is a cbb file |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸is that a premium feature |
|||
gordy12gg▸no |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸okay |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you two have used this program |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸tell me how to use it |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸synchronize |
|||
Windows98_SE▸>logo in comic sans |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this program looks like it was made in vb2 |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸well actually i'd say comic sans is actually used appropriately in this case |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸it seems like a silly program |
|||
Windows98_SE▸yeah, really |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸for kids and shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸so i mean |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oooh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oooooooh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸okay so this is how we get like |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸the <friend>s |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸on our list |
|||
gordy12gg▸yup |
|||
LoveEevee▸>Since Last On |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸alright yeti |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸okay |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how do we add this guy |
|||
LoveEevee▸this guy's first language is definetely not english |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸okay this program doesn't work properly |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸how do you fix this |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸the chat doesn't work |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸initalizing |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸why do you have to wait for this thing to initalize |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸it obviously just fucking startedCHOCOLATEMAN▸hey look |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸somebody made a song about cyberbuddy |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y0ciVEgyfo |
|||
LoveEevee▸holy fucking shit a talking smartphone |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸holy motherfucking asscrack |
|||
gordy12gg▸use chrome |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸look at this guy's fucking desktop |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NELfWTTU5k |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸at 0:03 |
|||
LoveEevee▸where's tidus wallpaper |
|||
Windows98_SE▸what the shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸so uhh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this program is popular huh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸seems like a shitty pickle to me |
|||
Garry12gg▸It's even on Twitter. @ultrahal |
|||
LoveEevee▸CRINGE |
|||
Garry12gg▸Yup. |
|||
guest6372▸ass |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸vagina |
|||
Ctrl▸Did you know if you put a razor blade halfway through a surveillance camera wire |
|||
Ctrl▸It makes static on the operator's end |
|||
Ctrl▸Until you remove it |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸sounds fun |
|||
LoveEevee▸>inb4 hdmi cable |
|||
LoveEevee▸what now <friend> |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i downloaded cyber buddy because it sounded sexy |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸it even has a sex robot |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸and guess what you cant even use that shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what a crappy program |
|||
LoveEevee▸that bot sounds like fluffy |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you know what's really homogay |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this bonzi buddy ripoff |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸can someone reprogram bonzi without it being absolute anus |
|||
Garry12gg started a vote to reset the VM. |
|||
Windows98_SE voted yes. |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN voted no. |
|||
LoveEevee▸if bonzi had walk animation i would add it to eevee.exe |
|||
LoveEevee voted no. |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸its fineee |
|||
Windows98_SE▸there |
|||
Windows98_SE▸it works now |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸fuck |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸this |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸chat |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i say a homogayyyyyyyyy |
|||
Ctrl voted no. |
|||
The vote to reset the VM has lost. |
|||
Ctrl▸Win98 whats your obsession with shit |
|||
Ctrl▸Is it like a fetish |
|||
gordy12gg▸eevee |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸he's got a scat fetish |
|||
gordy12gg▸yup |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸win98 you and eevee would make good friends |
|||
gordy12gg▸^ |
|||
gordy12gg▸snap |
|||
LoveEevee▸>i can sense that lucario is sexy |
|||
gordy12gg▸theres my bot |
|||
</pre> |
|||
'''/etc/systemd/network/ktvm1.netdev''' |
|||
=== Another Holy War (CollabVM Neocities Blog) (Late 2017) === |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
'''Original Description:''' Why does choco hate linux so much? |
|||
[NetDev] |
|||
Name=ktvm1 |
|||
Kind=tap |
|||
[Tap] |
|||
<pre> |
|||
Group=collabvm |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸FUCKING X PROGTAMS |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸x programs work you jew |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you just have to install x |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸ITT: thirld world issues |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸heh |
|||
LoveEevee▸>never used bash on linux on windows 10 |
|||
Technoturnovers▸they work like shit |
|||
LoveEevee▸>i'll still say it sucks :^) |
|||
Technoturnovers▸try to use a DE in X on windows |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸dartz had a screenshot somewhere where he was running what was it |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸firefox, qemu, and libreoffice |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸for linux |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸on windows 10 |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸atleast I don't have pajeet spying on my shit |
|||
Technoturnovers▸why would you use windows at all? |
|||
LoveEevee▸also linux is FINISHED |
|||
Ctrl▸Qemu for Windows 10 (NOW WITH SPYWARE!!!!!!) |
|||
Technoturnovers▸literally no reason |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸also, all 3 of thoese are on Windows |
|||
Technoturnovers▸just use linux in the first place |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸to run 99% of the programs in the world |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>inb4 wine |
|||
cutebot2 left. Vanilla joined |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸wine is shitty asscrack that can't even run basic programs |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸The only reason someone would use Windows is for their winbabby gayymes |
|||
Technoturnovers▸wine works you dipshit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸no it doesn't |
|||
Technoturnovers▸for 16 but progs, it works better than windows |
|||
Technoturnovers▸*bit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>16 bit |
|||
Ctrl▸Butt progs |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Wine is the linux equivlent of Windows Bash on Ubuntu on Windows |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what the fuck are you doing running 16 bit programs |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸also, i don't care if microsoft looks at my shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i'm not a fucking pedophile |
|||
Vanilla left |
|||
Technoturnovers▸>muh nothing to hide |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Someone's running out of arguements |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i don't store child porn on the root of my disk |
|||
Technoturnovers▸enjoy your 1984 |
|||
Vanilla joined |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>enjoy your 1984 |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸assblasted 9/11 truther detected |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸>i don't need free speech, i don't have anything to say |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Same thing |
|||
Technoturnovers▸http://mashable.com/2013/06/13/julian-sanchez-nsa/#0yTwPaV2oEqX |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸nope |
|||
Vanilla left |
|||
Ctrl▸ITT: A preview of /g/ everyday |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i'm sorry i don't have the same opinion as you |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸forgive me pls |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸ITT: Winbabbies getting bottom bothered |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>i've been calm and collective this entire time |
|||
Ctrl▸>linux |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸That's what the all say |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸but you and techno have been throwing insults and screaming at me lmfao |
|||
Ctrl▸>windows |
|||
Ctrl▸>not temploeos |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i havent been screaming at you |
|||
Ctrl▸Die unholy scum |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i havent even been yelling |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸No one has been screaming at you |
|||
Technoturnovers▸just calm down m8 |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸lmao |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Ctrl Terry Davis uses ubuntu |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸because he's a pleb |
|||
Ctrl▸I know |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸only <friend>s use ubuntu |
|||
Ctrl▸I watched the stream |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸real men use mikeos |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i use ubuntu |
|||
Technoturnovers▸it works fine |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸then you're a <friend> |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸get mikeos |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Stop shilling for MikeOS |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸shit's <nigerian>ed |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸stop shilling for linux |
|||
Technoturnovers▸im not |
|||
Ctrl▸MikeOS IS pretty good |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ya u are mang |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i only got into this debate when you started strawmanning us |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>don't even know what mikeos is |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i dont go out of my way to shill linux |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸average loonix user intelligence everybody |
|||
Technoturnovers▸>140 iq |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸>155 IQ |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>372 IQ |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Stop talking shit Jamal |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you know a lot of indian names |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸those the guys you slept with |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i am literally in advanced classes for math and language arts |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Jamal isn't indian |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸are you retarded |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸he is in my mind |
|||
Technoturnovers▸Jamal is african american |
|||
Technoturnovers▸jesus |
|||
Ctrl▸Search Jamal + Indian last name |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Who's the idiot here? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸arabic = indian |
|||
Ctrl▸You'll find SOMEONE |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸that's how it works |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ask ANYONE that |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Do you think Tyrone is an indian name too? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸they'll tell you |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸tsk tsk tsk |
|||
Ctrl▸Actually you know what os is better than all of them |
|||
Ctrl▸LMOS |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸no because that's not arabic |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Microsoft you need to step up your shill game |
|||
Technoturnovers▸my last name is irish, doesnt mean im an irish person |
|||
Vanilla joined |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸yes it does |
|||
Ctrl▸Techno is part of Isis? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ITALY |
|||
Ctrl▸Wtf techno |
|||
Ctrl▸Techno do you fuck goats? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ITALY MAN |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸ISIS MEMBER CONFIRMED |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Choco just because your BMI is higher than 30 doesn't mean you should scream at people for using lin |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸x |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i'm actually underweight |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸:( |
|||
Vanilla▸>isis |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸That's what they all say |
|||
Vanilla▸i like isis |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i have a bmi of like 16 or some shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i need to fix that |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸annnnnnywaaaaaaay |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸techno is literally a part of isis |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸let's stop arguing |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸let me guess techno |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸you use tor browser too? |
|||
Ctrl▸So techno is part of isis |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸and fuck up this b00buntu |
|||
Vanilla left |
|||
Ctrl▸And apparently Linux is better than mikeos |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸cant |
|||
Ctrl▸What else is new |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸love eevee is being a fucking <friend> |
|||
Vanilla joined |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸and not giving us the password |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>linux is better than mikeos |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸lol |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Eeevee is being a cunt |
|||
Vanilla left |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸TELL US THE PASSWORD |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸eevee |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸give us the password |
|||
Vanilla joined |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸GIBE PASS |
|||
LoveEevee▸noo |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸yes |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸at least install something for us |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸you shekel |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸gibe |
|||
LoveEevee▸alright |
|||
LoveEevee▸whatcha wanna installed |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸give us kolourpaint4 |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸the best colorpaint |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸the best ms paint clone ever made |
|||
Vanilla left |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸I want tuxracer installed |
|||
LoveEevee▸it fucking sucks though |
|||
Ctrl▸Green is my pepper |
|||
LoveEevee▸yes |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸is gimperdimper installed |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸GREEN IS MY PEPPER TOO |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i don't give a fuck |
|||
LoveEevee▸i'm doing the dark theme right now |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸kolourpaint4 is the only decent paint editing tool on linux |
|||
Ctrl left |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸It's the shitty paint equivlent |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸You could just install Wine and use Photo shop |
|||
LoveEevee▸>photoshop |
|||
LoveEevee▸>on loonix |
|||
LoveEevee▸in your dreams |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>install Wine and use Photoshop |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸but i thought wangblows XDDDD |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸It's it comes down to that |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸just use wine you stingey jew |
|||
Vanilla joined |
|||
guest19492 started a vote to reset the VM. |
|||
bcd29x_8.1 voted no. |
|||
Shitface titty fart voted no. |
|||
LoveEevee▸photoshop doesnt worn on wine |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸GUEST DOES NOT LIKE UBUNTU :^) |
|||
Vanilla voted no. |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸It does |
|||
LoveEevee▸as was said before wine is a piece of shit |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸choco what's the sudo warudo |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Just because it can't run your gaymes doesn't mean it sucks |
|||
cutebot2 joined |
|||
Technoturnovers▸my little cousin was watching me on my pc |
|||
cutebot2 left |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Stop being a homo and don't play games |
|||
Vanilla▸on collabvm? |
|||
Technoturnovers▸so i had to hide my tabs |
|||
Vanilla▸lol |
|||
Ctrl joined |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸you were watching porn weren't you |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸: |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸"Just because it can't run your gaymes doesn't mean it sucks" |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸^ |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸) |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸no it's not the gaymes |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸it's the fact it can't |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸run |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸It's the gaymes |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸anythingggggggggg |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸It can run most things |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i tried to run photoshop in wine |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸it gave me an error |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸No you havent |
|||
bcd29x_8.1▸tech was having pornosites |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸yes i have |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸I thought you didn't use linux |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i used it a VM |
|||
Technoturnovers▸i wasnt watching porn |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Stop shilling pajeet |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸what, you think i just say shit sucks wihtout knowing what i'm talking about |
|||
The vote to reset the VM has lost. |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Just be quiet |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸Yes |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸>archbabby is this mad |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸oops |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸You sound exactly like the person who would do that |
|||
Vanilla left |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸be a little bitch |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸why don't you go fix x.org? |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸;))))))))) |
|||
Shitface titty fart▸BECAUSE I USE WAYLAND |
|||
</pre> |
|||
Finally, we connect all of our TAPs to the <code>collabnet</code> bridge. |
|||
=== Hannah explains what to do when the VMs are fucked (2017) === |
|||
<pre> |
|||
hannah▸if all else fails, memtest |
|||
</pre> |
|||
'''/etc/systemd/network/collabnet.network''' |
|||
== 2018 == |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
[Match] |
|||
Name=kt* |
|||
[Network] |
|||
=== Local Autist has a sperg attack (September 21, 2018) === |
|||
Bridge=collabnet |
|||
<pre> |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Dan Smith▸THIS IS REVENGE FOR GETTING MY FIRST CHANNEL BANNED!!! |
|||
Wulf715▸what the hell |
|||
Wulf715▸we didnt do shit |
|||
Dan Smith▸YOU DIDN'T |
|||
Dan Smith▸BUT THEY DID |
|||
Wulf715▸who |
|||
Dan Smith▸KUBAPOLISH, ANTIFCU, [M D M C K 1 0] |
|||
Wulf715▸what are you smoking and where can i get it |
|||
</pre> |
|||
Finally, you can either reboot or run the following to reload the network configuration |
|||
== 2020 == |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo systemctl restart systemd-networkd |
|||
}} |
|||
=== OpenRC === |
|||
=== Icanttellyou drama/A kit abuser getting banned by [[CHOCOLATEMAN]] live (January 2020) === |
|||
The drama starts around 17:42:13.208Z, the kitting starts at 17:43:00.243Z <vm1 turns> 79756683, the spam starts and ends at 17:49:37.395Z and 17:51:11.094Z. |
|||
TODO |
|||
http://computernewb.com:8080/logs/computernewb.com:6004/2020-01-25/17:00.log |
|||
= Setting up the router = |
|||
'''Note: this link doesn't work anymore, someone fix it for fucks sake''' |
|||
Now for the """fun""" part. We're going to set up a router VM, responsible for routing all traffic from the VMs. You'll want to give it '''two''' network adapters, one for the WAN (the internet) and another LAN (your VMs, the collabnet bridge). |
|||
== 2021 == |
|||
The router will be running Debian. You can either netboot it from within QEMU (Press Ctrl+B when prompted on boot, enter <code>dhcp && boot http://boot.netboot.xyz</code>) or download an ISO and mount it. Your choice. |
|||
=== Choc plays solitaire the third. (2021) === |
|||
<pre> |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸are any of these cards usable |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸any at all |
|||
Wulf715▸uhhhhhh |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸holy shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸HOLY shit |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸i am getting fucked in like |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸6 different angles right now |
|||
</pre> |
|||
Here is an example QEMU start command for the router VM. You'll need to create the disk image and adjust paths. |
|||
=== Andrej vehemently defends his authorship of Bouncer and gets his ass kicked by the motherfuckin' CHOC (August 2021) === |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
<pre> |
|||
sudo -u collabvm qemu-system-x86_64 \ |
|||
20:33:15.722Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: jesus christ this dude is STILL going? |
|||
-accel kvm \ |
|||
20:33:19.111Z @NAEM: and use ur amuzing network |
|||
-cpu host \ |
|||
20:33:23.113Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: CHOCOLATEMAN I MADE U |
|||
-m 2G \ |
|||
20:33:23.355Z @NAEM: yeah it is |
|||
-hda /srv/collabvm/router/router.qcow2 \ |
|||
20:33:26.624Z @Blockhead: chocolate rain |
|||
-netdev user,id=wan -device virtio-net,netdev=wan \ |
|||
20:33:27.035Z @NAEM: SHUT UP |
|||
-netdev tap,id=lan,ifname=ktrouter,script=no,downscript=no -device virtio-net,netdev=lan \ |
|||
20:33:33.389Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you people are fucking killing me over here lol |
|||
-vnc 127.0.0.1:10 |
|||
20:33:44.188Z @aaa: choco is dying |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
20:33:45.554Z @NAEM: jjjj is shit |
|||
20:33:48.784Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: can't wait for the new version of the server so your skidded stolen bullshit won't work anymore |
|||
20:33:51.106Z @NonSense: shut up |
|||
20:33:56.413Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: what stolen? |
|||
20:33:58.766Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: what is stolen? |
|||
20:34:01.768Z @Blockhead: oh wow guest3634 is such a asshole can you believe it? |
|||
20:34:03.403Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: bouncer lol |
|||
20:34:08.361Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: hilda<friend> bot? |
|||
20:34:13.564Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you stole it home skillet |
|||
20:34:20.787Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you didnt write a single line of that program lol |
|||
20:34:23.946Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: prove it |
|||
20:34:36.304Z @NAEM: choco |
|||
20:34:37.475Z @aaa: wow! "DFU RAPE EDITION" (user) is so utterly retarded! can you believe it? |
|||
20:34:38.860Z @NAEM: vs andrj |
|||
20:34:50.681Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: how about you prove you wrote it right now lol |
|||
20:34:53.737Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: i dare you to prove it |
|||
20:34:55.317Z @Blockhead: the only good types of bots are the ones who dont spam votes and instead act like general darian |
|||
20:34:58.549Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: how to prove? |
|||
20:35:05.154Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: figure it out <friend> |
|||
20:35:09.241Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you made it didn't you |
|||
20:35:12.022Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you should be able to prove it |
|||
20:35:12.175Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: you are <friend> |
|||
20:35:16.899Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: i made u too |
|||
20:35:21.616Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: so you made a <friend> |
|||
20:35:23.533Z @NAEM: im need emojis on collabvm |
|||
20:35:24.045Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: ? |
|||
20:35:28.429Z @aaa: thing im doing is trying to get this memz<friend> off the vm |
|||
20:35:28.744Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: yes |
|||
20:35:30.918Z @NonSense: yea |
|||
20:35:35.455Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: why are you making <friend>s gaylord |
|||
20:35:35.906Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: lmao |
|||
20:35:37.951Z @jjjjbot_2085359043: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:38.178Z @jjjjbot_2005257155: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:38.274Z @jjjjbot_1248619435: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:38.965Z @jjjjbot_224355879: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:40.086Z @jjjjbot_348708989: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:41.058Z @jjjjbot_1471929080: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:42.572Z @jjjjbot_2026035399: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:42.725Z @jjjjbot_66075700: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:43.819Z @jjjjbot_1874297148: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:44.033Z @jjjjbot_2070286621: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:44.118Z @jjjjbot_662509644: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:45.600Z @jjjjbot_1153445125: CIRNO SUCKS! AND I MADE CHOCOLATEMAN! |
|||
20:35:48.602Z @NonSense: *angry emoji* |
|||
20:35:52.910Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you hate cirno because you hate women lol |
|||
20:35:55.426Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: not surprised |
|||
20:36:01.512Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you aint into em |
|||
20:36:02.602Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: that's fine |
|||
20:36:23.395Z @NAEM: i think he left |
|||
20:36:25.355Z @NAEM: is he gone? |
|||
20:37:04.020Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: CHOCOLATEMAN |
|||
20:37:07.515Z @DFU RAPE EDITION: CIRNO IS GAY |
|||
20:37:10.631Z @NonSense: *ok emoji* |
|||
20:37:14.491Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: yeah all touhous are gay |
|||
20:37:16.038Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: whats your point lol |
|||
20:37:18.355Z @aaa: https://computernewb.com/w/index.php?title=Janusbot&action=edit |
|||
20:37:27.569Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you should be into gay girls <friend> |
|||
20:37:32.195Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: that's the straightest thing ever |
|||
20:37:50.136Z @aaa: Dang! |
|||
20:37:52.648Z @NAEM: yea |
|||
20:37:54.942Z @NAEM: he kinda left |
|||
20:37:56.172Z @NAEM: :trl: |
|||
20:38:14.334Z @jjjj: choc i made u |
|||
20:38:17.069Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: he couldn't handle the truth |
|||
20:38:26.900Z @IDIOT: U ARE MISTAKE |
|||
20:38:28.683Z @aaa: the main vms are the only safe places now |
|||
20:38:29.428Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: i made DN |
|||
20:38:48.564Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: can you make DN, jjjj |
|||
20:38:53.660Z @NAEM: omg |
|||
20:38:56.078Z @NAEM: jjjj is |
|||
20:39:19.248Z @aaa: i made print("HELLOWORLD") in lua, can you do it? |
|||
20:39:25.670Z @NAEM: jjjj died |
|||
20:39:27.626Z @IM GAY: HOW I WOULD MAKE A DN ABOUT A BOT? |
|||
20:39:32.927Z @NAEM: yes |
|||
20:39:36.358Z @NAEM: your surely gay |
|||
20:39:37.331Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you suck |
|||
20:39:44.747Z @NAEM: get out |
|||
20:39:45.849Z @NAEM: jjjj |
|||
20:40:32.767Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: your skidded stolen bot plays kazoo with my asshole |
|||
20:40:49.238Z @IM GAY: CHOCOLATEMAN |
|||
20:40:56.927Z @jjjj: I MADE U |
|||
20:40:58.968Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: what's up |
|||
20:41:14.303Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: if i'm gay i guess the genes passed on then |
|||
20:41:14.875Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: huh |
|||
20:41:18.279Z @jjjj: I have janus botnet about 20000000000000000000000 ZETABYTES |
|||
20:41:26.025Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: so does my dick |
|||
20:41:34.036Z @jjjj: you don't have dick idiot |
|||
20:41:40.464Z @Blockhead: what happened to chocolateman's software? (aka chocovirus) |
|||
20:41:41.009Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: so i'm a girl? |
|||
20:41:44.307Z @jjjj: no |
|||
20:41:46.138Z @jjjj: u are bot |
|||
20:41:52.674Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: how can a bot have a sexuality lol |
|||
20:42:03.537Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: and you keep saying, "WELL I HAVE JANUS BOTNET!" |
|||
20:42:04.481Z @jjjj: u are chocolateman |
|||
20:42:07.161Z @jjjj: a bot |
|||
20:42:08.068Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: well dude, everybody has an anus |
|||
20:42:08.583Z @Blockhead: jjjj your mom looks like |
|||
20:42:10.568Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: you're not special |
|||
20:42:13.360Z @Blockhead: brian peppers |
|||
20:42:20.479Z @jjjj: choc |
|||
20:42:26.774Z @jjjj: u know how i connect 100 bots? |
|||
20:42:38.250Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: yeah lol i literally fixed it |
|||
20:42:46.396Z @jjjj: how? |
|||
20:42:47.430Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: thats why you do it on uservm |
|||
20:42:48.009Z @aaa: previously, Janus botnet takes down Google with 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:42:51.153Z @guest26886: can someone make their own hex editor |
|||
20:42:51.932Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: lol |
|||
20:43:00.935Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: and why the hell would i say |
|||
20:43:03.963Z @jjjj: choc how u fixed it? |
|||
20:43:07.305Z @jjjj: u didn't |
|||
20:43:23.524Z @jjjj: is about user agent? |
|||
20:43:49.256Z @jjjj: chocolate<friend> |
|||
20:44:09.889Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: and you keep going |
|||
20:44:11.835Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: "I HAVE JANUS!" |
|||
20:44:15.517Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: well you know what dude |
|||
20:44:17.955Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: EVERYBODY's got an anus |
|||
20:44:23.428Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: why do you think you should be given an award |
|||
20:44:30.169Z @jjjj: Fool |
|||
20:44:33.077Z @Blockhead: janus? |
|||
20:44:37.064Z @jjjj: i talk about Janus cybercrime solutions |
|||
20:44:38.065Z @Blockhead: MORE LIKE ANUS |
|||
20:44:40.479Z @Blockhead: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
|||
20:44:48.163Z @jjjj: <nigerian> |
|||
20:44:51.286Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: why would you call your cybercrime solutions "anus" |
|||
20:44:54.616Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: that seems weird |
|||
20:44:59.117Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: weird ass name |
|||
20:45:32.733Z @jjjj: i said janus |
|||
20:45:43.631Z @Blockhead: without the j |
|||
20:45:49.670Z @Blockhead: AHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHCOUGH COUGH |
|||
20:45:54.238Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: yeah you said anus |
|||
20:45:56.766Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: i repeated it right back to you |
|||
20:45:59.541Z @jjjj: i said janus |
|||
20:46:03.758Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: yeah that's what i said |
|||
20:46:04.145Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: anus |
|||
20:46:09.638Z @jjjj: JANUS FOOL |
|||
20:46:15.442Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: THAT'S WHAT I SAID |
|||
20:46:15.867Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: ANUS |
|||
20:46:19.151Z @Blockhead: remove the j |
|||
20:46:19.521Z @jjjj: I MADE U AND I CAN DESTROY YOU |
|||
20:46:25.369Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: do it |
|||
20:46:31.113Z @Blockhead: jjjj you made nothing |
|||
20:46:36.618Z @jjjj: i made chocolateman |
|||
20:46:47.277Z @Blockhead: also i heard jjjj likes lemonparty |
|||
20:46:53.166Z @Russ: i cant get into any vms except this vm |
|||
20:46:59.959Z @Butthead: Uhh... heheheheh |
|||
20:47:02.116Z @Butthead: He said "Anus" |
|||
20:47:02.256Z @jjjj: hey chocolateman |
|||
20:47:03.927Z @Butthead: Uhuhuhuhuhuh |
|||
20:47:08.570Z @jjjj: u know DFU RAPE EDITION? |
|||
20:47:15.279Z @Blockhead: more like autism |
|||
20:47:17.438Z @Butthead: Uhhh...huhuhuhuhu |
|||
20:47:19.201Z @Butthead: He said "RAPE" |
|||
20:47:21.252Z @Butthead: Huhuhuhuhuhu |
|||
20:47:27.950Z @jjjj: fuck off |
|||
20:47:34.647Z @jjjj: @chocolateman u know dfu rape edition? |
|||
20:47:40.330Z @Butthead: Uhhh.... huhuhuhu |
|||
20:47:46.400Z @Butthead: Are you, like, coming onto me? Uhuhuhuh |
|||
20:47:46.891Z @jjjj: answer or gay |
|||
20:47:49.263Z @Blockhead: lets sing retard bus for jjjj! |
|||
20:47:56.973Z @Blockhead: retard bus, retard bus, retard bus! |
|||
20:47:57.208Z @aaa: Yooooo! |
|||
20:48:03.958Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: yeah sure |
|||
20:48:07.506Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: i know about it |
|||
20:48:09.906Z @jjjj: u know him? |
|||
20:48:13.427Z @jjjj: who is him? |
|||
20:48:17.070Z @aaa: let's sing: retard bus, retard bus, retard bus, retard bus! (for jjjj) (Unfunny) |
|||
20:48:45.570Z @Butthead: Uhhhh... like, jjjj, are you like, |
|||
20:48:48.458Z @Butthead: gay or something? Uhhuhuhuhhu |
|||
20:48:48.555Z @jjjj: @CHOCOLATEMAN |
|||
20:48:56.891Z @jjjj: tell me who is DFU RAPE EDITION |
|||
20:49:04.398Z @aaa: Ass |
|||
20:49:07.880Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: are you a pedo now lol |
|||
20:49:10.669Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: DFU is a minor |
|||
20:49:34.528Z @jjjj: fool |
|||
20:49:41.531Z @jjjj: someone called dfu rape edition |
|||
20:49:47.637Z @Blockhead: bob pony are you drunk |
|||
20:49:52.588Z @jjjjbot_393770458: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:53.205Z @jjjjbot_1793081910: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:53.299Z @jjjjbot_492726993: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:53.511Z @jjjjbot_697181991: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:55.013Z @jjjjbot_520047165: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:55.080Z @jjjjbot_1447277783: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:56.524Z @jjjjbot_271275976: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:56.807Z @jjjjbot_458799924: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:57.732Z @jjjjbot_2054100849: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:58.537Z @jjjjbot_958200930: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:49:59.094Z @jjjjbot_218494260: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:00.437Z @jjjjbot_334381845: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:00.562Z @jjjjbot_602007681: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:02.531Z @jjjjbot_924273861: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:06.335Z @jjjjbot_283523726: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:06.585Z @jjjjbot_114854425: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:07.530Z @jjjjbot_498367846: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:07.607Z @jjjjbot_1096725387: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:08.115Z @jjjjbot_1872217754: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:10.087Z @jjjjbot_946910733: CIRNO SUCKS! AND JANUS BOTNET TAKES DOWN GOOGLE WITH 2.5 TBPS DDOS! |
|||
20:50:28.334Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: whats the ANUS BOTNET |
|||
20:50:31.374Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: and why does cirno suck |
|||
20:50:42.004Z @jjjj: CIRNO IS <nigerian> |
|||
20:50:48.228Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: she looks white to me lol |
|||
20:50:51.515Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: or asian or whatever |
|||
20:51:05.070Z @jjjj: prove it |
|||
20:51:19.101Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: do you see that chick on the desktop |
|||
20:51:20.723Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: right now |
|||
20:51:29.043Z @jjjj: that's darkok's face |
|||
20:51:34.745Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: that's darkok's face? |
|||
20:51:39.654Z @jjjj: yes |
|||
20:51:42.825Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: where do you GET this shit |
|||
20:51:43.260Z @CHOCOLATEMAN: lol |
|||
</pre> |
|||
With this command, you can SSH forward and VNC to port 5910. When installing Debian, you can accept defaults, although I recommend not using a desktop environment on your router. |
|||
=== Admins chatting ft. random guests and other users (November 2021) === |
|||
<pre> |
|||
mv_▸you know it is quite ironic how his name is sorry yet doesn't even aplogize shit |
|||
yellows111▸i think thats why he renamed it to wanderer |
|||
gogo▸his username is the opposite |
|||
gogo▸yeah |
|||
yellows111▸still uses his sorry name |
|||
yellows111▸in everything he makes |
|||
brandan▸wtf is truecatalyst for one thing |
|||
yellows111▸because hes self centered |
|||
yellows111▸thats his brand |
|||
yellows111▸right so uhh |
|||
Welcome to the official CollabVM VMs! |
|||
Please make sure to follow our rules at all times. This VM is monitored 24/7. |
|||
If the VM is broken, start a Vote Reset. |
|||
The account does not have a password, even though Windows claims it does. Just leave the password blank to login. |
|||
Join our Discord if you have any questions. |
|||
Sponsored by DataWagon.com · DDoS protected servers |
|||
yellows111▸while fucking around on RDPs |
|||
gogo▸oh yeah |
|||
gogo▸this is what happened |
|||
yellows111▸we found out there is a NASTY bitch of an executable |
|||
yellows111▸that launches a nuclear fuckfest |
|||
yellows111▸against the machine that its ran on |
|||
brandan▸electron? :troll: |
|||
gogo▸nope |
|||
yellows111▸worse |
|||
gogo▸it's the thing running on the vm(?) |
|||
yellows111▸imagine running one executable |
|||
mv_▸well i found it first |
|||
Frisk▸bitcoin miner or some shit??? |
|||
yellows111▸then randomly having 80 of them run |
|||
Calub_Gex_Embracer▸mv are you sure |
|||
gogo▸nope it's a trojan downloader |
|||
modeco80▸its a crackhead explosion |
|||
Calub_Gex_Embracer▸patryk showed it off |
|||
CHOCOLATEMAN▸Time to deliver a pizzaball!! |
|||
mv_▸yes |
|||
gogo▸also uhh |
|||
brandan▸is it good if i like ask for a build of this shit or no lmao |
|||
modeco80▸anyways uh |
|||
mv_▸there is multiple |
|||
gogo▸who wants to hear a story from like uhh |
|||
mv_▸just search |
|||
yellows111▸oh you see that slowdown? |
|||
gogo▸when i was away from here |
|||
guest25540▸uhhh |
|||
yellows111▸you see how the vm is speed now |
|||
guest25540▸think it just hung |
|||
modeco80▸i guess someone linked the wiki article revision where someone did the funny transphobia |
|||
mv_▸[REDACTED, ASK IN DMS] |
|||
modeco80▸and that cause the autism |
|||
gogo▸what kind of retarded shit i was given to work with |
|||
yellows111▸oh i saw a glimpse |
|||
yellows111▸of a bluescreen |
|||
yellows111▸what uhh |
|||
modeco80▸oh it's over isnt it |
|||
yellows111▸happened there |
|||
modeco80▸it's over |
|||
</pre> |
|||
== |
== Initial configuration == |
||
Once you boot to a command line, the first thing we'll do is remove the builtin ifupdown network daemon and use systemd-networkd, as it's much easier to manage. |
|||
=== Based Hildaboo ranting about low effort graphical malware and overrated lackluster Viewer-Made Malware (December 2022) === |
|||
<pre> |
|||
CRYAKL▸ can someone like make a di rapist that doesnt destroy the machine with a shitty mbr |
|||
Emperor Palpatine▸ I am the senate |
|||
retard▸ i like holzer than memz |
|||
CRYAKL▸ like theres multiple ways to do that |
|||
CRYAKL▸ holzer is shit |
|||
retard▸ clutt? |
|||
CRYAKL▸ thats even worse |
|||
retard▸ oh my god |
|||
CRYAKL▸ all gdi shit is the same trash |
|||
CRYAKL▸ they are all written by 10 year olds who spam math expressions |
|||
CRYAKL▸ like y ou morons cant even see rand |
|||
retard▸ even spongebobfuck is crappy |
|||
CRYAKL▸ cant even read msdn docs to use findfirstfile right |
|||
CRYAKL▸ hardcode paths |
|||
guest1847▸ i guess not since they're young and not skilled programmers |
|||
CRYAKL▸ spam gdi |
|||
CRYAKL▸ dont know how to do a multithreaded payload system |
|||
CRYAKL▸ so I just see CreateThread spammed over and over and over |
|||
CRYAKL▸ Sleep(0xFFFFFFFF); |
|||
retard▸ ima do holzer vs idk your virus? |
|||
CRYAKL▸ thats cool |
|||
sus32▸ malware isn't supposed to be good but make it atleast nice |
|||
CRYAKL▸ at least make it different |
|||
CRYAKL▸ lol |
|||
CRYAKL▸ its all gdi spam |
|||
guest1847▸ imagine needing more than 1 thread to make something that spams colors |
|||
retard▸ holzer vs viruses is funny? |
|||
CRYAKL▸ hmm yes PhysicalDrive0 |
|||
CRYAKL▸ like come on man |
|||
sus32▸ gdi viruses aren't funny anymore |
|||
CRYAKL▸ they werent funny after dans forum died |
|||
CRYAKL▸ its like memz remixed every single time |
|||
sus32▸ they want to be like memz because it's the most successful and popular virus |
|||
sus32▸ everybody makes content on it |
|||
CRYAKL▸ theres way better danooct1 vmm |
|||
CRYAKL▸ lol |
|||
CRYAKL▸ memz is arguably the worst of his series |
|||
CRYAKL▸ it only got popular because of vinesauce |
|||
CRYAKL▸ theres even ones |
|||
CRYAKL▸ dan never made a video on |
|||
CRYAKL▸ that are better |
|||
CRYAKL▸ lol |
|||
CRYAKL▸ theres a whole ass rootkit |
|||
guest52802▸ who was the first memz reviewer |
|||
CRYAKL▸ dan never made a video on that kicks memz ass |
|||
guest52802▸ probarly dancoot |
|||
CRYAKL▸ kernel mode driver |
|||
CRYAKL▸ Kaane |
|||
sus32▸ "xp horror edition" |
|||
retard▸ windows xp horror trash |
|||
guest52802▸ forkie |
|||
CRYAKL▸ le scary delphi form |
|||
sus32▸ this shit looks like it came straight from itch.io |
|||
CRYAKL▸ creepypasta shit makes me want to kill myself |
|||
</pre> |
|||
{{code| |
|||
[[Category:Stories]] |
|||
sudo apt-get purge -y ifupdown |
|||
sudo ip addr flush |
|||
sudo systemctl enable --now systemd-networkd |
|||
}} |
|||
We'll then disable systemd-resolved and set up a static DNS config |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo systemctl disable --now systemd-resolved |
|||
sudo systemctl mask systemd-resolved |
|||
sudo rm /etc/resolv.conf # remove the symlink |
|||
sudo tee /etc/resolv.conf <<EOF |
|||
nameserver 1.1.1.1 |
|||
nameserver 1.0.0.1 |
|||
EOF |
|||
}} |
|||
Note that the internet will die on the router. This is because systemd-networkd is not configured by default. First, let's figure out our interface names using the command <code>ip a</code>. For me, the WAN interface was <code>ens3</code> and the LAN was <code>ens4</code>. This may vary however if you're using the QEMU command above the WAN interface will appear first in the list. For the rest of the guide I will be assuming the above interface names. Make sure to change them if yours are different. |
|||
Let's first configure the WAN interface to use DHCP. |
|||
'''/etc/systemd/network/wan.network''' |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
[Match] |
|||
Name=ens3 |
|||
[Network] |
|||
DHCP=ipv4 |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Then, we'll assign the LAN interface the static ip of <code>192.168.1.1</code> |
|||
'''/etc/systemd/network/lan.network''' |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
[Match] |
|||
Name=ens4 |
|||
[Network] |
|||
Address=192.168.1.1/24 |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
You can then reload the network configuration: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo systemctl restart systemd-networkd |
|||
}} |
|||
If all went well, you should be able to access the internet (test with <code>ping google.com</code>) |
|||
Lastly, set some sysctl values: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
<nowiki>sudo tee /etc/sysctl.d/router.conf </nowiki><<<nowiki>EOF |
|||
net.ipv4.conf.default.rp_filter = 2 |
|||
net.ipv4.conf.all.rp_filter = 2 |
|||
net.ipv4.ip_forward = 1 |
|||
EOF</nowiki> |
|||
}} |
|||
== nftables == |
|||
Now, we can set up basic routing. First, install some required packages |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo apt-get install -y nftables dnsmasq curl |
|||
}} |
|||
Now, download our nftables config template. This sets up a simple router. We'll expand on it later. |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo curl 'https://computernewb.com/~elijah/nftables.conf' -o /etc/nftables.conf |
|||
}} |
|||
If your WAN and LAN IPs differ from the examples above, edit nftables.conf and change them at the top. |
|||
== dnsmasq == |
|||
Next, copy our DNSMASQ config. DNSMASQ is responsible for DHCP and DNS. |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo curl 'https://computernewb.com/~elijah/dnsmasq.conf' -o /etc/dnsmasq.conf |
|||
}} |
|||
There are a few instances of ens4 you'll need to change if that's not your WAN interface. You can also change the instance of <code>collabnet.local</code> if you want to use a different hostname. |
|||
There are also some examples of static leases. You can either use the MAC addresses provided in the examples on your VMs, or change them. You need to add a static lease to dnsmasq.conf for each VM you have or it won't be able to connect to the internet. |
|||
== Start it up == |
|||
The following commands should get all the router components up and running |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo systemctl enable --now dnsmasq nftables |
|||
sudo nft -f /etc/nftables.conf |
|||
}} |
|||
== Testing it all out == |
|||
If all went well, you should now have a basic working router. To test this, start up one of your VMs on its TAP. You can do this by removing any <code>-net</code>, <code>-netdev</code>, or <code>-netdev</code> arguments from the QEMU command, and adding the following: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
-netdev tap,id=lan,ifname=ktvm1,script=no,downscript=no -device virtio-net,netdev=lan,mac=c0:11:ab:69:42:01 |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Note that the ifname should correspond to the TAPs added earlier and should be unique per VM. The MAC address should be unique to each VM and MUST be given a static lease in dnsmasq.conf. |
|||
If everything went well, the VM should obtain an IP on boot and be able to access the internet. If not, you can try to troubleshoot or join our discord and create a post in #support, and we can try to help. |
|||
= Optional router configuration = |
|||
The following is not strictly required, however is recommended. |
|||
== VPN == |
|||
If you don't want users to be able to make traffic from your IP address (you almost definitely do not), you should set up a VPN, for all your users' traffic to be run through. You'll need a VPN that supports wireguard (and additionally you'll want to make sure that this usecase is allowed by their Terms of Service). Here are a few: |
|||
* [https://mullvad.net/en Mullvad] ($5 a month) |
|||
* [https://protonvpn.com/ ProtonVPN] (Premium plan is $10 a month, however their free plan allows WireGuard making this one preferable if you don't want to spend money) |
|||
Once you have your VPN picked out, register an account and generate a WireGuard profile. This varies by VPN but its usually in the Downloads section or its own category. It should give you a wireguard configuration either as a downloadable file or to copy and paste. |
|||
Next, install wireguard into your router: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo apt-get install wireguard-tools |
|||
}} |
|||
Once this is installed, paste the contents of your WireGuard configuration into <code>/etc/wireguard/wg.conf</code>. An example file looks like this: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
[Interface] |
|||
PrivateKey = ThisIsAnExampleDontActuallyUseThis= |
|||
Address = 10.65.2.87/32,fc00:bbbb:bbbb:bb01::2:256/128 |
|||
DNS = 10.64.0.1 |
|||
[Peer] |
|||
PublicKey = gH/ThisIsAnExampleDontActuallyUseThis= |
|||
Endpoint = 1.1.1.1:51820 |
|||
AllowedIPs = 0.0.0.0/0, ::0/0 |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
With that all set, you can now enable the VPN with the following command: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo systemctl enable --now wg-quick@wg |
|||
}} |
|||
If all went well, you should now be connected to the VPN: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
$ curl ipinfo.io/what-is-my-ip |
|||
{ |
|||
"ip": "143.244.47.86", |
|||
"hostname": "unn-143-244-47-86.datapacket.com", |
|||
"city": "Weehawken", |
|||
"region": "New Jersey", |
|||
"country": "US", |
|||
"loc": "40.7696,-74.0204", |
|||
"org": "AS212238 Datacamp Limited", |
|||
"postal": "07086", |
|||
"timezone": "America/New_York", |
|||
"readme": "https://ipinfo.io/missingauth" |
|||
} |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
The last step is to connect the VMs to the VPN. First, get your private IP on the vpn network: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
$ ip a |
|||
(...) |
|||
7: wg: </nowiki><<nowiki>POINTOPOINT,NOARP,UP,LOWER_UP</nowiki>><nowiki> mtu 1420 qdisc noqueue state UNKNOWN group default qlen 1000 |
|||
link/none |
|||
inet 10.65.2.87/32 </nowiki><<nowiki>---- THIS RIGHT HERE scope global wg |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
As we can see, our private IP in this example is <code>10.65.2.87</code>. All we have to do is open nftables.conf and set <code>WAN</code> to <code>wg</code>, and <code>SNAT</code> to this private IP: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
/etc/nftables.conf |
|||
(...) |
|||
define SNAT = 10.65.2.87 |
|||
(...) |
|||
define WAN = wg |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Reload your nftables configuration: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo nft -f /etc/nftables.conf |
|||
}} |
|||
If all went well, your VMs should now be connected to the VPN |
|||
== E2Guardian == |
|||
E2Guardian can be used to implement network filtering on your VM. It supports transparent HTTP and HTTPS filtering making it ideal for a setup like CollabVM where the client can't be trusted to always use a proxy or DNS server. Here's how to set it up. |
|||
=== Installation === |
|||
First is to install e2guardian. A small issue is that the e2guardian packages have not been updated for Debian 12 and still use OpenSSL 1.1, which was removed in Debian 12. As a workaround we can install the libssl1.1 version from Debian 11. Note that usually installing packages from another Debian version is [https://wiki.debian.org/DontBreakDebian#Don.27t_make_a_FrankenDebian a bad idea], but in this case its fine since the package has no outside dependencies. |
|||
{{code| |
|||
wget http://ftp.us.debian.org/debian/pool/main/o/openssl/libssl1.1_1.1.1w-0+deb11u1_amd64.deb |
|||
sudo apt-get install ./libssl1.1_1.1.1w-0+deb11u1_amd64.deb |
|||
}} |
|||
You can then install e2guardian: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
wget https://e2guardian.numsys.eu/v5.5/e2debian_bullseye_V5.5.4r_20231113.deb # IF THERE'S A NEWER VERSION AVAILABLE AT https://e2guardian.numsys.eu/, USE THAT INSTEAD |
|||
sudo apt-get install ./e2debian_bullseye_V5.5.4r_20231113.deb |
|||
}} |
|||
Install some other dependencies: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo apt-get install git curl tar ftp |
|||
}} |
|||
=== Configuration === |
|||
Now we need to do some configuration. The e2guardian config directory is not readable by a normal user, so shell in as root. |
|||
{{code| |
|||
$ sudo -i |
|||
# cd /etc/e2guardian |
|||
}} |
|||
Create a directory for generated certificates, and give e2guardian permissions: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
mkdir -p private/generatedcerts |
|||
chown e2guardian:e2guardian private/generatedcerts |
|||
}} |
|||
Generate the required keys and CA certificate for SSL MITM: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
openssl genrsa 4096 > private/ca.key |
|||
openssl genrsa 4096 > private/cert.key |
|||
openssl req -new -x509 -days 3650 -sha256 -key private/ca.key -out private/ca.pem |
|||
}} |
|||
The last command will ask for some information, you can leave most of it blank and fill what you want. |
|||
Next, some configuration. Open e2guardian.conf in an editor, then find and set the following values: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
transparenthttpsport = 8443 |
|||
enablessl = on |
|||
sslcertificatepath = '/etc/ssl/certs' |
|||
useoriginalip = on |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Now open e2guardianf1.conf in an editor, then find and set the following values: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
## COMMENT OUT THESE LINES: |
|||
# storyboard = '/etc/e2guardian/examplef1.story' # comment out for production |
|||
# .Define LISTDIR <nowiki><</nowiki>/etc/e2guardian/lists/example.group<nowiki>></nowiki> # comment out for production |
|||
sslmitm = on |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Copy <code>examplef1.story</code> to <code>group1.story</code>: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
cp examplef1.story group1.story |
|||
}} |
|||
=== Filter lists === |
|||
Now you can download the collabnet filter lists: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
cd lists |
|||
git clone --depth 1 https://git.computernewb.com/collabvm/e2guardian.git group1 |
|||
}} |
|||
Download the ut1 and oisd filter lists: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
cd group1 |
|||
./getall.sh |
|||
}} |
|||
==== Updating the filter lists ==== |
|||
Every once in a while, you'll want to update the filter lists with this command: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
$ sudo -i |
|||
# cd /etc/e2guardian/lists/group1 |
|||
# git pull |
|||
# ./getall.sh |
|||
}} |
|||
=== Start it up === |
|||
You should now be able to start e2guardian without error using the following command: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo systemctl enable --now e2guardian |
|||
}} |
|||
You can confirm that it's working by seeing if it's listening on ports 8080 and 8443: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
$ sudo ss -tulnp |
|||
(...) |
|||
tcp LISTEN 0 256 0.0.0.0:8080 0.0.0.0:* users:(("e2guardian",pid=168580,fd=5)) |
|||
tcp LISTEN 0 256 0.0.0.0:8443 0.0.0.0:* users:(("e2guardian",pid=168580,fd=7)) |
|||
(...) |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
=== Routing the VM traffic === |
|||
We can now set a firewall rule to redirect all VM traffic through e2guardian. Open /etc/nftables.conf and uncomment the following lines near the end: |
|||
{{code|<nowiki> |
|||
iifname $LAN ip daddr != 192.168.1.0/24 tcp dport 80 redirect to :8080 |
|||
iifname $LAN ip daddr != 192.168.1.0/24 tcp dport 443 redirect to :8443 |
|||
</nowiki>}} |
|||
Reload nftables: |
|||
{{code| |
|||
sudo nft -f /etc/nftables.conf |
|||
}} |
|||
=== Test it out === |
|||
First, put /etc/e2guardian/private/ca.pem onto one of your VMs. This is usually done through installing nginx onto the router and copying ca.pem into the webroot. Next, install ca.pem as a Trusted Root Certification Authority (on Windows, you need to change the file extension to .crt for it to be recognized.) |
|||
If all went well, you should be able to browse to websites and see that the SSL certificate was signed by your generated CA. Additionally, sites blocked in the filter list should show a block page (try something like anydesk.com) |
|||
=== Change the block page === |
|||
You can create a custom block page by editing /usr/share/e2guardian/languages/ukenglish/template.html. For assets like images you'll need to install a webserver (usually nginx) on the router and host them that way. |
Revision as of 20:53, 17 December 2023
This guide will walk you through setting up a Virtual Network for your VMs. This will allow you to route your VM traffic behind a VM (strongly recommended for several reasons), filter web traffic, and prevent access to your local network from the VMs.
Prerequisites
- An hour or two of your time
- A host running a Linux distribution
- Basic computer and command line literacy. Nobody is going to hold your hand
Host Preparation
IP Forwarding
First, we're going to enable IP forwarding on your host. This will allow traffic from the VMs to be routed to and from the router. The following command will write this to the sysctl configuration.
echo 'net.ipv4.ip_forward = 1' | sudo tee /etc/sysctl.d/router.conf
To apply, either reboot or run the following:
sudo sysctl --system
Bridge configuration
Next, we'll set up a network bridge with multiple TAP interfaces. You can think of a TAP interface as a virtual Ethernet port connected to your VM, and the network bridge as a virtual Ethernet switch connecting them all together. The instructions to do this vary based on your network daemon. For this guide we'll assume (and recommend) you're using systemd-networkd, or netifrc on OpenRC.
We'll also be giving the collabvm
group access to the TAPs. If you have yet to create a user for CollabVM, do so now.
Systemd
All network configuration is done in the /etc/systemd/network
directory. We'll start by creating the bridge itself. The following simply creates a network bridge named collabnet
/etc/systemd/network/collabnet.netdev
[NetDev]
Name=collabnet
Kind=bridge
Next, we'll create a TAP for our router VM. The following creates a new TAP named ktrouter
/etc/systemd/network/ktrouter.netdev
[NetDev]
Name=ktrouter
Kind=tap
[Tap]
Group=collabvm
Now, you can create a TAP for each VM. The following adds a TAP named ktvm1
. To add more, repeat the following, creating files named ktvm2
, ktvm3
, and so on. Make sure to also change the TAP name inside the file to match this.
/etc/systemd/network/ktvm1.netdev
[NetDev]
Name=ktvm1
Kind=tap
[Tap]
Group=collabvm
Finally, we connect all of our TAPs to the collabnet
bridge.
/etc/systemd/network/collabnet.network
[Match]
Name=kt*
[Network]
Bridge=collabnet
Finally, you can either reboot or run the following to reload the network configuration
sudo systemctl restart systemd-networkd
OpenRC
TODO
Setting up the router
Now for the """fun""" part. We're going to set up a router VM, responsible for routing all traffic from the VMs. You'll want to give it two network adapters, one for the WAN (the internet) and another LAN (your VMs, the collabnet bridge).
The router will be running Debian. You can either netboot it from within QEMU (Press Ctrl+B when prompted on boot, enter dhcp && boot http://boot.netboot.xyz
) or download an ISO and mount it. Your choice.
Here is an example QEMU start command for the router VM. You'll need to create the disk image and adjust paths.
sudo -u collabvm qemu-system-x86_64 \
-accel kvm \
-cpu host \
-m 2G \
-hda /srv/collabvm/router/router.qcow2 \
-netdev user,id=wan -device virtio-net,netdev=wan \
-netdev tap,id=lan,ifname=ktrouter,script=no,downscript=no -device virtio-net,netdev=lan \
-vnc 127.0.0.1:10
With this command, you can SSH forward and VNC to port 5910. When installing Debian, you can accept defaults, although I recommend not using a desktop environment on your router.
Initial configuration
Once you boot to a command line, the first thing we'll do is remove the builtin ifupdown network daemon and use systemd-networkd, as it's much easier to manage.
sudo apt-get purge -y ifupdown
sudo ip addr flush
sudo systemctl enable --now systemd-networkd
We'll then disable systemd-resolved and set up a static DNS config
sudo systemctl disable --now systemd-resolved
sudo systemctl mask systemd-resolved
sudo rm /etc/resolv.conf # remove the symlink
sudo tee /etc/resolv.conf <<EOF
nameserver 1.1.1.1
nameserver 1.0.0.1
EOF
Note that the internet will die on the router. This is because systemd-networkd is not configured by default. First, let's figure out our interface names using the command ip a
. For me, the WAN interface was ens3
and the LAN was ens4
. This may vary however if you're using the QEMU command above the WAN interface will appear first in the list. For the rest of the guide I will be assuming the above interface names. Make sure to change them if yours are different.
Let's first configure the WAN interface to use DHCP.
/etc/systemd/network/wan.network
[Match]
Name=ens3
[Network]
DHCP=ipv4
Then, we'll assign the LAN interface the static ip of 192.168.1.1
/etc/systemd/network/lan.network
[Match]
Name=ens4
[Network]
Address=192.168.1.1/24
You can then reload the network configuration:
sudo systemctl restart systemd-networkd
If all went well, you should be able to access the internet (test with ping google.com
)
Lastly, set some sysctl values:
sudo tee /etc/sysctl.d/router.conf <<EOF
net.ipv4.conf.default.rp_filter = 2
net.ipv4.conf.all.rp_filter = 2
net.ipv4.ip_forward = 1
EOF
nftables
Now, we can set up basic routing. First, install some required packages
sudo apt-get install -y nftables dnsmasq curl
Now, download our nftables config template. This sets up a simple router. We'll expand on it later.
sudo curl 'https://computernewb.com/~elijah/nftables.conf' -o /etc/nftables.conf
If your WAN and LAN IPs differ from the examples above, edit nftables.conf and change them at the top.
dnsmasq
Next, copy our DNSMASQ config. DNSMASQ is responsible for DHCP and DNS.
sudo curl 'https://computernewb.com/~elijah/dnsmasq.conf' -o /etc/dnsmasq.conf
There are a few instances of ens4 you'll need to change if that's not your WAN interface. You can also change the instance of collabnet.local
if you want to use a different hostname.
There are also some examples of static leases. You can either use the MAC addresses provided in the examples on your VMs, or change them. You need to add a static lease to dnsmasq.conf for each VM you have or it won't be able to connect to the internet.
Start it up
The following commands should get all the router components up and running
sudo systemctl enable --now dnsmasq nftables
sudo nft -f /etc/nftables.conf
Testing it all out
If all went well, you should now have a basic working router. To test this, start up one of your VMs on its TAP. You can do this by removing any -net
, -netdev
, or -netdev
arguments from the QEMU command, and adding the following:
-netdev tap,id=lan,ifname=ktvm1,script=no,downscript=no -device virtio-net,netdev=lan,mac=c0:11:ab:69:42:01
Note that the ifname should correspond to the TAPs added earlier and should be unique per VM. The MAC address should be unique to each VM and MUST be given a static lease in dnsmasq.conf.
If everything went well, the VM should obtain an IP on boot and be able to access the internet. If not, you can try to troubleshoot or join our discord and create a post in #support, and we can try to help.
Optional router configuration
The following is not strictly required, however is recommended.
VPN
If you don't want users to be able to make traffic from your IP address (you almost definitely do not), you should set up a VPN, for all your users' traffic to be run through. You'll need a VPN that supports wireguard (and additionally you'll want to make sure that this usecase is allowed by their Terms of Service). Here are a few:
- Mullvad ($5 a month)
- ProtonVPN (Premium plan is $10 a month, however their free plan allows WireGuard making this one preferable if you don't want to spend money)
Once you have your VPN picked out, register an account and generate a WireGuard profile. This varies by VPN but its usually in the Downloads section or its own category. It should give you a wireguard configuration either as a downloadable file or to copy and paste.
Next, install wireguard into your router:
sudo apt-get install wireguard-tools
Once this is installed, paste the contents of your WireGuard configuration into /etc/wireguard/wg.conf
. An example file looks like this:
[Interface]
PrivateKey = ThisIsAnExampleDontActuallyUseThis=
Address = 10.65.2.87/32,fc00:bbbb:bbbb:bb01::2:256/128
DNS = 10.64.0.1
[Peer]
PublicKey = gH/ThisIsAnExampleDontActuallyUseThis=
Endpoint = 1.1.1.1:51820
AllowedIPs = 0.0.0.0/0, ::0/0
With that all set, you can now enable the VPN with the following command:
sudo systemctl enable --now wg-quick@wg
If all went well, you should now be connected to the VPN:
$ curl ipinfo.io/what-is-my-ip
{
"ip": "143.244.47.86",
"hostname": "unn-143-244-47-86.datapacket.com",
"city": "Weehawken",
"region": "New Jersey",
"country": "US",
"loc": "40.7696,-74.0204",
"org": "AS212238 Datacamp Limited",
"postal": "07086",
"timezone": "America/New_York",
"readme": "https://ipinfo.io/missingauth"
}
The last step is to connect the VMs to the VPN. First, get your private IP on the vpn network:
$ ip a
(...)
7: wg: <POINTOPOINT,NOARP,UP,LOWER_UP> mtu 1420 qdisc noqueue state UNKNOWN group default qlen 1000
link/none
inet 10.65.2.87/32 <---- THIS RIGHT HERE scope global wg
As we can see, our private IP in this example is 10.65.2.87
. All we have to do is open nftables.conf and set WAN
to wg
, and SNAT
to this private IP:
/etc/nftables.conf
(...)
define SNAT = 10.65.2.87
(...)
define WAN = wg
Reload your nftables configuration:
sudo nft -f /etc/nftables.conf
If all went well, your VMs should now be connected to the VPN
E2Guardian
E2Guardian can be used to implement network filtering on your VM. It supports transparent HTTP and HTTPS filtering making it ideal for a setup like CollabVM where the client can't be trusted to always use a proxy or DNS server. Here's how to set it up.
Installation
First is to install e2guardian. A small issue is that the e2guardian packages have not been updated for Debian 12 and still use OpenSSL 1.1, which was removed in Debian 12. As a workaround we can install the libssl1.1 version from Debian 11. Note that usually installing packages from another Debian version is a bad idea, but in this case its fine since the package has no outside dependencies.
wget http://ftp.us.debian.org/debian/pool/main/o/openssl/libssl1.1_1.1.1w-0+deb11u1_amd64.deb
sudo apt-get install ./libssl1.1_1.1.1w-0+deb11u1_amd64.deb
You can then install e2guardian:
wget https://e2guardian.numsys.eu/v5.5/e2debian_bullseye_V5.5.4r_20231113.deb # IF THERE'S A NEWER VERSION AVAILABLE AT https://e2guardian.numsys.eu/, USE THAT INSTEAD
sudo apt-get install ./e2debian_bullseye_V5.5.4r_20231113.deb
Install some other dependencies:
sudo apt-get install git curl tar ftp
Configuration
Now we need to do some configuration. The e2guardian config directory is not readable by a normal user, so shell in as root.
$ sudo -i
# cd /etc/e2guardian
Create a directory for generated certificates, and give e2guardian permissions:
mkdir -p private/generatedcerts
chown e2guardian:e2guardian private/generatedcerts
Generate the required keys and CA certificate for SSL MITM:
openssl genrsa 4096 > private/ca.key
openssl genrsa 4096 > private/cert.key
openssl req -new -x509 -days 3650 -sha256 -key private/ca.key -out private/ca.pem
The last command will ask for some information, you can leave most of it blank and fill what you want.
Next, some configuration. Open e2guardian.conf in an editor, then find and set the following values:
transparenthttpsport = 8443
enablessl = on
sslcertificatepath = '/etc/ssl/certs'
useoriginalip = on
Now open e2guardianf1.conf in an editor, then find and set the following values:
{{{1}}}
Copy examplef1.story
to group1.story
:
cp examplef1.story group1.story
Filter lists
Now you can download the collabnet filter lists:
cd lists
git clone --depth 1 https://git.computernewb.com/collabvm/e2guardian.git group1
Download the ut1 and oisd filter lists:
cd group1
./getall.sh
Updating the filter lists
Every once in a while, you'll want to update the filter lists with this command:
$ sudo -i
# cd /etc/e2guardian/lists/group1
# git pull
# ./getall.sh
Start it up
You should now be able to start e2guardian without error using the following command:
sudo systemctl enable --now e2guardian
You can confirm that it's working by seeing if it's listening on ports 8080 and 8443:
$ sudo ss -tulnp
(...)
tcp LISTEN 0 256 0.0.0.0:8080 0.0.0.0:* users:(("e2guardian",pid=168580,fd=5))
tcp LISTEN 0 256 0.0.0.0:8443 0.0.0.0:* users:(("e2guardian",pid=168580,fd=7))
(...)
Routing the VM traffic
We can now set a firewall rule to redirect all VM traffic through e2guardian. Open /etc/nftables.conf and uncomment the following lines near the end:
iifname $LAN ip daddr != 192.168.1.0/24 tcp dport 80 redirect to :8080
iifname $LAN ip daddr != 192.168.1.0/24 tcp dport 443 redirect to :8443
Reload nftables:
sudo nft -f /etc/nftables.conf
Test it out
First, put /etc/e2guardian/private/ca.pem onto one of your VMs. This is usually done through installing nginx onto the router and copying ca.pem into the webroot. Next, install ca.pem as a Trusted Root Certification Authority (on Windows, you need to change the file extension to .crt for it to be recognized.)
If all went well, you should be able to browse to websites and see that the SSL certificate was signed by your generated CA. Additionally, sites blocked in the filter list should show a block page (try something like anydesk.com)
Change the block page
You can create a custom block page by editing /usr/share/e2guardian/languages/ukenglish/template.html. For assets like images you'll need to install a webserver (usually nginx) on the router and host them that way.