Satire:CollabVM Discord

the 2nd server icon

How to get REALLY verified in the CollabVM Discord (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT) (THE DARTS ALMOST WALKED IN ON COSMIC AND GEODUDE KISSING) (IT WAS HOT) (LONGEST OF ANSWERS)

The CollabVM Discord is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, and the central place to talk about CollabVM and CollabVM accessories. It was first created by Novella in late 2016(?), but was later transferred to Dartz and made official. In the near-end of December 2018, the Discord Server officially closed down, and you can only enter with a private invite.

The server remained fairly small, both servers being <100 members.

Then in mid December 2019 the server reopened. Then on September 24th 2020 the Discord got terminated and now a CollabVM Discord 2 exists, and then the server went public and people started joining it left and right. Now you have to pass a verification system to get access to the server. Keep in mind that you have to say your age, or else you get kicked from the server.

Currently there are over 700 members in the server.

Other Discord Servers

There are still some other CollabVM Discord servers, all of which are dead and you should not join. Here is a non-complete list:

CollabVM - forkie land

Owned by Vanilla. Meant to be used as a public server before the Official Server opened up. No active moderators.

Collaborative Virtual Machine

Owned by Matthew. Dead, and new members can't post in #general because you need a manual role.

"Official Secondary Server"

Only mentioned in this old reddit post. Invite link is dead.

CollabVM Republic

Owned by Technoturnovers. Deleted due to inactivity.

The Turnover Lounge

Owned by Technoturnovers. Deleted during forkie rage

Moderation

The Discord is moderated by a moderation team which consists of the following people: Technoturnovers, CHOCOLATEMAN, Hildaboo and modeco80.

Pretty much every moderator has access to the Admin Panel. Since Dartz is never online, all of the decisions and moderation are done in a very anarchy-like manner by general consensus. Essentially, if everyone hates you, you get b&. And oh, you will never be admin. Ever.

Channels

This is all of the (publicly available*) channels in the CollabVM Discord 2: Electric Boogaloo Discord server.

Landing

#announcements

For when an admin wants to ping for no reason about some dumb shit

#rules

The imaginary and unenforced rules of the Discord. Has more than 4 rules!

#joins

If you want to see what type of people join the Discord, then check that channel out. You're not going to enjoy it. Trust me.

#verification

The very first channel you enter to get verified in the server. Not too many people seem to get successfully verified though... (Protip: !verify IS NOT A VALID COMMAND AND WILL NOT WORK. WHY? BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD)

#how-to-verify

A specific channel only viewable to non-verified members that intends to guide one on how to properly get verified, that rarely gets read

#updates-of-the-hub-of-git

Where the GitHub webhook for any and all commits and specific actions to collab-vm-server (and forks of it) and other official Computernewb repositories (previously did Gitea).

Otherwise the prime venting channel to argue about bad code and how bad Cosmic is at programming and make fun of yellows111 for being unable to program or use a computer.

#hotsex-123

Throne Of Youself? Long Answer

#dartboard

A channel dedicated to storing of pinned messages by the Starboard bot

#support

The main support channel for CollabVM related help such as configuring the CollabVM Server. You will almost never find anyone who actually gets their problem fixed.

Chatrooms

#public

Where you and your friends go to shitpost and talk about CollabVM

#vidya

The channel for all things vidya

#development

The channel to talk about programming and other topics related to programming (And no, Batch, VBS and "visual"/block """programming languages""" (t. HiAsm) are not programming languages)

Storage

#cool-things

Discuss about non-CollabVM related stuff

#collabvm-txt

For posting the most autistic moments of CollabVM

#dartzs-inbox

Where you can view the often magical and bizarre emails that Dartz of Computernewb receives

#copypasta-central

Post all your copypasta's here

#music

For posting music

#quotes

For posting funny CollabVM quotes

#spicy-memes

For just posting memes in general

#vnc-resolver

Stare at the screen typing +vnc for 5 minutes, then get bored and leave.

#glorified-rss-feed

This channel, and you also, receives cool shit like Steam/GOG/EGS game promotions primarily from the Terraria Discord server #free-stuff channel.

Aids

#cosmic-sans-simulator

Update

#suggestions

BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN

#spam

Post your high quality spam material here

#nsfw-spam

The premier NSFW channel. Don't worry too much about getting access to this channel however, it's just mostly full of either femboy (there's the femboy thread) Konqi, or Vaporeon porn

-> #femboy nsfw stuff

:youcannotpossiblybeserious:

#public-bots

Self-explanatory. Waste hours there entering NotSoBot tag commands like "Avatarroulette" or "Tiktok" or "Thewhat" or even "Thedarts", or rather you could just &caption get real some random trending Tenor GIF.

archived

#masscan-san

<dumb drama>

#unk0rrupt-msf-foodfight

<dumb drama numba dos>

#collabvm-advent-calendar

The official annual CollabVM advent calendar that would post a new operating system everyday up until December 25th.

* Not exactly true, some channels may be locked behind an additional cosmetic role you may ask for

Voice Channels

#vc-text

For when your squeaky preteen voice is just too much for the VC

🔊 gayming

vc for vidya gamers

🔊 whatever

the main voice channel of cockandballistan

🔊 yellows bedroom

Do not question it

🔊 56k modem (20kbps)

why

🔊 BEEP BOOP BOP BOOP

The public-bots VC.

Roles

THE PIPELINE

There are exactly 5 pipeline roles (which are part of the infraction roles) in total. (not including the other infraction roles)

Where most people who will (un)willingly participate in the pipeline begin:

 

Verified

(Other roles can go here, otherwise you're just verified for the first time.)

->

 

retard

 

negative iq

 

mallow from sm:rpg

 

todd howard of bethesda games

 

S-Tier Dumbass

After you have some or all of the pipeline roles (not including other infraction roles), you will end up getting a specific punishment. Usually, you'll get unverified or kicked, or banned if you've been really bad. You can sometimes get a second chance if you appeal, but depending on what you did, who you are, the mood of the moderation team or some other factors it may not work out well for you.

 

autistic timeout

There exist infraction roles that can ban you from talking in certain channels, like these ones. The descriptions for these roles will link to the corresponding channel it is supposed to hide from whoever happens to have the role.

 

cant fucking program

#development

 

.txt Gagged

#collabvm-txt

 

Upload/Embed Gagged

None, it is a permission ban.

Meme?bers

dartz

The owner of the server and some fine kush. Mmmm!

CHOCOLATEMAN

He's the CHOCOLATE MAAAAAAAAN

CHOCOIATEMAN

Technoturnovers

GDCB4L

Autist that likes mumble rap and cartoons unironically.

dakrk

CEO of KFC

The DataWagon Staff

DataWagon

mv_

The Em of Vees. He likes solitaire, and is Romanian.

Sylvie

schizo lesbian witch bunnygirl

nyxdote

Mikrystal

CVM Oldfag. Once despised forkie among the CollabVM community. Now is cool again UPDATE: not in the discord anymore She's back

Matthew

Banned for being an asshole He's back He finally escaped from CollabVM Syndrome. Matthew is back for another round. He currently hosts the official modpack server.

6969

>

Canadian who is into MLP Paw Patrol, is cool

WHAT WILL WE DO TOGETHER

One of the more recent Memebers. He masturbates to touhou and is a shitposter.

MEMPHRAME

yeehaw

star ⭐

some nerd who plays too much Fortnite, also has a job. Wow.

memebers whose cosmetic roles do not seperate, and may or may not have one

antonyh182

carrot 🥕

Was it because I never told you I was going away

That you waited so long?

Was it because your fucking dreams meant nothing to me

That you waited so long?

SO JOKER

That fucking person that put a pillow on his head. His Twitter was full of bloat because he loved linking his Twitter to everything. Responsible for the existence of Calub Veeim.

nullptr

Gay femboy loving gay femboy. Oh, and he's memebers too. Did I mention he's a femboy? Otherwise a great C++ programmer, Joined the server in around 2021

Geodude

Very well respected and feared admin of CollabVM. Luckily, he rarely goes online. Except maybe the Ceiridge incident.

Lucrexius

number 1 arabic homosexual malware researcher

Navi

Hey, listen!

Lollipop

The original owner of the CollabVM Discord, is the prodigy of constantly joining and leaving. The comment down below represents the amount of times she has left and rejoined.

she left she's back shE LEFT AGAIN joined and left ok now she's back fulltime wow cool thanks she left [She rejoined the server, and stayed for a very short period of time. And then she left again.] IDK she's back

﷽

Dink

some weird crown emoji => ♚ ???

Thumps

ALL HAIL DOOPLISS!

The Graveyard

FluffyVulpix

He ragequit and deleted all of his accounts and won't answer his phone. RIP staying 362 consecutive years in prison for multiple counts of rape of a minor

kekero

Banned for being transphobic and an overall asshole.

icanttellyou

Constantly complained, ultimately banned by admins as the straw that broke the camel's back.

Naltronix

Some retarded forkie who used to be on the old discord. Only likes Novella and no one else. Literally assblasted herself from existence after an incident with Hilda.

MyNameIsJason

That one sperg who unironically plays HL2RP. Makes shitty YouTube videos. Analed by brandan

Collab Veim

A collaborative account controlled by a set of CollabVM users. Dead due to inactivity.

Conclusion

This Discord is a truckload of whatsit and you should never step near it. Ever. This Discord is a friendly and soothing place with caring people who will help you.